Things on my mind

This past week and a half has been exciting and scary all at the same time. I never expected to be pregnant again after Emma being only 10 months old right now. I know that in the past I have joked about wanting another baby, but like I said.....it was all a joke. I never thought it would happen. When Josh and I got pregnant with Emma, we were still about 4 months away from our wedding. Let me explain, I have had PCOS for the past 6 years or so. My doctor told me that I had very little chance of conceiving on my own. We waited until I was about 17 weeks pregnant to tell anyone. I wanted to tell people right away but we decided it was best that we wait until after the wedding. When I told Josh, that I was pregnant with Emma, we immediatly went into "financial mode". Can we really afford to take care of a baby? Well, we knew that it would be extremely hard but knew that God wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle. So Emma was born and things have been great. She is the best thing that has ever happened to us. She has been an amazing little girl. There are still days that I want to sit her out of on the front step and let someone take her away, but every parent goes through that right? With just getting married and buying a new condo, Josh and I don't have the funds to buy Emma everything that we want. But she does have everything that she needs and even some toys.....which if you ask me?? ....thats all a 10 month old needs. Besides lots of love that Josh and I give her everyday. When I was at work last Monday night, I was about 2 days late on getting my "mother nature call" Well I was talking to a girl at work about it and she had a pregnancy test in her locker and we decided that I would just take it for fun....ok, before you make fun of us...keep in mind, that it was 3:00 in the morning and we were bored about of our minds. So once I saw that it was positive, I'm not going to lie, I cried. I was scared to death. Not only did I not know what we were going to do, but I didn't know how Josh was going to react. I was taking my birth control pills but I guess that didn't work[ again] Now, you might say.....well if they didn't work the first time, then why did you trust them again? Well, after I got pregnant with Emma, my doctor said that he couldn't explain it and that it was just a fluke thing. He didn't think that it would happen again. But it did. Once I told Josh that I was pregnant, he actually took it a lot better than I thought. He was in shock, but still excited. Even though it was a shock, I was so excited to tell both of our families, espcially after having to wait so long with the first pregnancy. I guess that's why I told people at only 5 weeks. Both Josh and I work full time, and things are hard even with Emma. Luckily I have my mom[ and Katie] who keep Emma sometimes, one day a week. And Josh's mom has recently started keeping Emma on Thursdays for about 4 hours or so. We are so thankful for the help that we get. No, we don't EXPECT people to help us but we are very fortunate. There are even some weeks when I don't have any help and I just have to suck it up and go on about 3 hours of sleep a day. But my baby is worth it. One thing that crossed our minds, was we only have a 2 bedroom condo. Well, I got to thinking.....when I was born, me and my sister shared a room. Why is it that now adays people feel like they have to have their own rooms anyway. There is no reason why Emma and the new baby can't share a room for a couple of years. Every time I stop and think, what are we going to do? I remember that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. Yes, we may struggle, and yes, we may not be able to do everything we want to do, but we coudn't be more happpy and excited about having two little babies. So while, I am only about 5 1/2 weeks now, I'm glad that I was able to tell you all about this little baby.